New Year's Eve Dinner

Yey! Am fulfilling my resolution of not being Mr. Grumpy anymore by organizing our family New Year's Eve dinner. Now this year would be very different as my folks are in China; so it's just my 2 sisters and their families + me + TDK girl staying in our home. I didn't let all of that stop me from being chit chatty and generally enjoying myself. Part of this joyous attitude can be due to being in a good place for dinner- Gaudi in Serendra. The Chuleton de Villagodio can't be beat!



(Got the photo from dessertcomesfirst)

Now I'm at home just hanging out alone waiting for the clock to strike 12. Other people might be depressed at this situation but I so don't mind. Love the quiet and chance to do some contemplation of the year that's about to end and the new one that's beginning soon.

Social life is flourishing! Got an New Year's Day invite to Embassy by K (but with her friends who I don't know at all!) and to Government by Erik (who I hardly know at all!) Not sure if I'll go to either; I might end up being really lazy na.

In any case, here's to a great, joyous, fantastic year ahead!

My One Main Talent

That St. Jude education really pays off...

86 words

Learn Touchtyping

Busy Post-Christmas

Wednesday--had to work this week but tried not to stress out too much. Had a family dinner in Gloriamaris GH for my grandma's birthday. Was over an hour late since I picked up my personal Christmas gift--a slightly used Shure e3c earphone set. Retails for P10k, got it for P4k :)



Anyway, dinner was ok. Got to chat a bit with my siblings and bros in law especially about the "spirits" that we sense in our house. Grandma looked really weak but at least, healthy enough to go out and celebrate another year! I pray for her continued long life and health.

Thursday--got invited by Tim for a poker game at 9PM. Was able to sneak in a quick gym routine but had half a mind to not go anymore and just snuggle up at home with a good book. But was very mindful of my 08 WIGs so ended up forcing myself to go. The whole J&J gang was there which was great. I ended up at 4th place out of 10 which was not bad, except I still ended up losing money. Made a lot of obvious, embarrassing mistakes which I seem to keep doing all of the time :( Really have to play better in the future. Got to down a lot of Johnny Walker though :)

Friday--had work lunch at Florabel in Podium which was great since it was a freebie. Enjoyed the roasted pear and gorgonzola salad a lot. Split a P1600 (!) wagyu burger with Karen. Was definitely tender, melts in your mouth and "malinamnam", but was so chockfull of fat that we both got a bit dizzy and needed coffee right after. Well it's supposed to be mostly monosaturated fats and omega 3s which I hope is true! Went to Roel's annual party that evening and enjoyed myself even if I was a bit uncomfortable with some of the people. That's so my weird quirk that I feel everyone is judging me when in fact, they probably didn't really care less. I really just need to chill and enjoy the moment more. Anyway, stayed a bit late (1AM) just chatting mainly about work (oh God I really need a life).

As such, ended up vegging all day today--sleeping and watching TV shows. Did get to go to the gym tonight. Would love to go to a bar or dance club but no one's invited me :(

PS. Still reminiscing about Mamou's wonderful USDA Prime rib-eye steak 1 week after:



Will be having New Year's Eve dinner with siblings (as my folks are in China and I didn't want to go with them hehe) in Gaudi. Yey! More steak!

Year in Review

Lifted from TJ's blog. Some pre-work before 08 life planning:

What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Travelled to Cambodia and KL. Ran 10k. Bought a major asset--condo.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Sorta. Was able to focus on key priorities--career and fitness--as planned.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Can't think of any.

Did anyone close to you die?
Our maid. Most traumatic experience of the year.

What countries did you visit?
Thailand (2x!), HK, Malaysia, Cambodia. Locally, Palawan, Bohol, Bantayan.

What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A lovelife. Better spiritual life. Stronger relationships with important people.

What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No particular date stands out.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being responsible enough to buy a condo. Running seriously and regularly.

What was your biggest failure?
Lousy love life. Sungit to the max this year.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Have weird leg infection now (see previous blog).

What was the best thing you bought?
My condo. Nike +.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
Karen. Super impressive at work.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Wag na nating balikan. Basta work people.

Where did most of your money go?
My Condo payments.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My condo pa rin!

What song(s) will always remind you of 2007?
Umbrella! Maroon 5's new album.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner (just a little bit)
iii. richer or poorer? Richer (coz last year wala akong trabaho!)

What do you wish you'd done more?
Focused on spiritual life. Met more new people. Saved more.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Be masungit and always frustrated.

What was your favorite TV program?
Pushing Daisies.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yep yep. But kinda let go na.

What was the best book you read?
Oh no...can't think of any!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Paolo Nutini

What did you want and get?
My job back

What was your favorite film of this year?
300!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Oh God. Was in a boring CIP workshop in the AM. But had a nice Crustasia chili crab dinner with BFF that night.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being less emotionally immature. Letting go more.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Same old angsty me. Tighter shirts though!

What kept you sane?
Yoga every Sunday. Running every Sunday.

What political issue stirred you the most?
The crazy Trillanes incident.

Who was the best new person you met?
Probably the BFF gang. Gave me a whole different set of friends.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007 :
Plan it and it will happen.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Uhm...wait lang..

Do you have a new years resolution for 2008?
3 WIGS--social life, spiritual life, family life

What was your favorite month of 2007?
March

How many concerts did you see in 2007?
Oh shit. None. Watched Avenue Q though...

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
Not as much as before :( No gimmick friends.

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
A lot.

How much money did you spend in 2007?
A lot.

What was your proudest moment of 2007?
Running 10k.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?
Being teased by BFF gang about one particular vice...

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2007 and change something, what would it be?
Definitely all the snappy remarks I've made

What are your plans for 2008?
Spiritual life--mass weekly, pray daily, retreat quarterly, join a group
Social life--accept more invitations, join groups, meet up with old friends
Family life--be nicer to folks, be closer to siblings

How are you different now that the year has ended?
More conscious of strengths and faults.

What are your wishes for the new year?
Contentment and a Selfless Heart

Amputee

Ugh...Just found out that this weird infection on my leg which I thought was just a wart is actually more serious and rare than I thought. Bad sign that my BFF derma got shocked (never a good sign when doctors show emotion). I'm starting off with heavy duty (and super expensive) antibiotics but may require more serious treatment/biopsy. Shit shit shit!

2 Parties

Had 2 Christmas parties--dinner in Chelsea last night with the BFF gang and lunch in Mamou today with the Johnson's team. Really wasn't in the mood last night, especially since I wasn't really close with most of the folks. Food was pretty blah as well. It did become more fun when we moved to that wine place in Serendra. Alcohol always makes things better! hehe. In fairness, they're good people; maybe I was just tired. Would love to hang out with them again soon and maybe be more friendly and energetic!

Mamou was great because of the wonderful steak! Strangely enough, couldn't eat a lot; felt quite full quickly. Maybe it's all the chatting that was happening, or the fact that I had a telecon right after lunch so I couldn't fully enjoy the food. Anyway, we did some fun exchange gifts with matching stealing powers which was a blast! I ended up with generic Marks and Spencer's toiletries though :(

Anyway, got a great gift from Karen and Bea. A white fcuk shirt with the line "No fcuking worries". I super love it! It's so fucking me!

Did some shopping right after the telecon in Fully Booked, and hung out with Juni for a while. My sungit equity got emphasized again. :( Also, we got to talk about how to expand one's social life. Essentially, there's should be an innate, fundamental interest in other people, which will make it easy to ask questions and keep a conversation going. But if it's innate and I don't have it, what happens now?

Will finish my Christmas shopping tomorrow. Meanwhile, have another telecon tom at 12nn. Drats!

Past 2 Weeks in Review

Lousy blogger...Will just summarize the last 2 weeks:

Went to Palawan for Strat Planning and Team Building. Strat Planning was very painful, ending at 1 AM. What made it even worse was being so close to the beautiful beach but being locked up in a fluorescent lit, windowless room for 3 days straight! Main learning here as well is to not show my frustration with boss too much as it is perceived by the bosses as immaturity and therefore, I will never be promoted to god level. Also to identify my anger/frustration trigger points so that I'm conscious of the need to control my emotions during these times.

Teambuilding was fun too. I felt quite sad though that I'm no longer one of the more popular folks in the team. It seems that the new folks are turning out to be the life of the party while I'm seen as the sungit, bitchy, whiny, negative guy. Can't say I'm not jealous of them, especially with my need to always be at the center of attention. Several learnings here: Need to be a nicer person, as this seems to be what people value more than competency or smarts. Move away from need to be noticed and affirmed by others, just relax and enjoy the company, regardless of whether I'm the star or not.

I'm so not feeling the Christmas spirit yet, as I have still to relax and even get my gift shopping done. Work is running at it's usual pace with no signs of slowing down this week or next. Haven't gone to any Christmas mass either.

Anyway had dinner with Lynette, TJ and Alex yesterday and the main topic was life planning, specifically reviewing 07 and planning for 08. Some realizations this year:

1. Having a basic plan at the start of the year really works. I was able to achieve a lot of things I was setting my mind to--focusing on fitness, running 10k, going to Cambodia, focusing on career, buying a condo, etc.

2. Biggest failure is in relationships--either strengthening important ones, building new ones, or not breaking off old ones. This will be the No. 1 priority in 2008, which really goes back to being a nicer, more selfless, more genuinely caring person.

3. Spiritual life was a real failure as well. Will be another key priority in 2008.

Will work on life plans over the holidays next week.

Fuckin 0.5

I'm fucking drunk. Intentionally, as I've been trying to release the stress from this entire week, plus the fact that we fucking lost the departmental competition by 0.5 fuckin points. Fuck them all!!!!!!

Unfortunately, my equity as a masungit person was further validated because of this project. I had to stand in as the producer, which meant making sure people showed up for rehearsals, and everything else was ready when they were needed. Of course, I ended up being bitchy again, which sucks. I mean, someone has to do it right? But since I'm the one who actually is willing to do it, I end up having the lousiest reputation vs the other guys who are quiet and nice and therefore wonderful but don't actually push to get anything done. Maybe I really have to start changing my style from scare tactics to nice and cheery and friendly. Shit! That is so not me...I seriously feel so different from everyone else because of this. I hate it! But at the same time, it's what I truly believe in... :(

Anyway, ended up in Jills after our wholesome to death Christmas party. 80s music is great! Though some of the younger kids didn't enjoy it for obvious reasons. But I guess we all really needed the major stress release!

I love this semi-drunk feeling now, coupled with wild and crazy dancing to great music!!! Really have to get to a club very very very soon!!!!!! Unfortunately, don't have dancing friends :(

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

This is turning out to be the most hectic December ever!

We're working on tons of strat plan sheets in preparation for next week. At the same time, we're doing rehearsals for our Christmas party tomorrow, plus worrying about costumes galore. Meanwhile, day to day work continues as before!

My hair is turning white from all of these!!!!!!!

Happy Advent!

Happy Advent! May the start of the liturgical year be a reflection of a similar renewal for me towards becoming a stronger, wiser, more loving, more spiritual being.

Some specific things I can start off on:
1. Be more sociable to parents
2. Stop pre-judging people by physical appearances
3. Less complaints, more gratitude
4. Focus on others more than self
5. See the good in everybody

I'm in Golden Prince Hotel, near Ayala Center in Cebu. Just came from a 2 day hectic travelling sched to Bantayan Island, specifically Sta. Fe. Gorgeous, secluded white beach, but to be honest, I would have rather have just gone to Boracay instead of going through the hassles of taking a flight to Cebu, then a 3 hour ride, followed by a 1 hour ferry crossing.

Sorry for the bitchy blog. But my head hurts, and I have to work now despite being on vacation. Will probably be perkier by tom.

More Cambodia Pics

Tons more pics. Just go to my Friendster account.

Meanwhile, Manila is in chaos again given Sen. Trillanes' 2nd takeover attempt, this time in the Manila Pen. Dear God, please resolve this soon...I now officially regret having voted for him.

F-You!

Didn't go to work today. Wasn't feeling too energetic and anyway, not much urgent stuff for me to do. A good way to recharge and recollect self before the start of holiday stress. Strange, but even the weekend cocooning didn't help much to invigorate me. Still feel very fatigued and listless.

It probably didn't help that my subordinate told me I was the reason she's resigning! It sucks to be accused of being an immature and disrespectful boss as it speaks more about you as a person than as a manager. While there was definitely a grain of truth to all the things she was saying, I thought a lot of it was unfair and reflective more of her own issues than mine. In any case, I really tried to be mature during that whole painful conversation and just focused on what both of us can learn from the experience. But deep inside, I really just wanted to shake her and tell her that she wouldn't have faced my wrath so many times if she just did her job better!

Also got majorly pissed by the fact that she didn't say anything to anyone until 1 day before she left. That's when she told not my boss, but the Marketing and HR directors! I didn't think it was very fair of her to do that especially to my boss, who is now probably seen negatively as not having managed the situation earlier. Bea gave a great analysis, saying because of her non-confrontational nature, she's crafted this situation as a means to express how she really feels without needing to say so. Well get with the program, girl!

Anyway, God has a wicked sense of humor, as I was coincidentally having dinner in the same resto as her farewell party with her office friends. That was majorly uncomfortable, so I just drank my beer and ignored her the best I could!

Just feel better that I'm not the only one who's experienced this "sabotage" drama with her. Plus I don't have to go to her despedida this afternoon and be all plastic, which I so can't stand to do.

Focusing on the positive, learn to be a better boss. Empower and inspire. Don't let sucky work piss me off too much. Don't be bitchy. Try not to gossip too much, talk gets around pretty quickly. Focus on people's good traits.

In the meantime--F U!

Whine Whine Whine

Still having major problems with one of my people. This is super stressing me out, as I'm not sure he can still improve significantly by his revalida this December. First time I've ever had this problem with a trainee. I keep worrying about this all the time, even while I was having my massage!

Meanwhile, still so tired all the time. Really just want to curl up in bed and sleep one whole day. It's probably the amount of energy I spend on each and every project I'm working on which depletes me completely by the middle of the day.

Can't wait for my Nov 30 Bantayan vacation!

Some Pics

More to come soon...

Is only for now! (Sex!)

Super dead tired at work given the hectic pace last week. Still haven't posted the Siem Reap pics, will hopefully do so tonight. Meanwhile, have to prepare for Business Reviews this Friday...ackkkkk...sometimes I'm so sick and tired of all the bureaucracy of corporate life.

Was listening to Avenue Q on my whole flight yesterday. Realized I have to shift my song from "It Sucks to be Me" to "For Now"

PRINCETON:
Why does everything have to be so hard?

GARY COLEMAN:
Maybe you'll never find your purpose.

CHRISTMAS EVE:
Lots of people don't.

PRINCETON:
But then- I don't know why I'm even alive!

KATE MONSTER:
Well, who does, really?
Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied.

BRIAN:
Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside.

GARY COLEMAN:
Take a breath,
Look around,

BRIAN:
Swallow your pride,

KATE MONSTER:
FOr now...

BRIAN, KATE, GARY, CHRISTMAS EVE:
For now...

NICKY:
Nothing lasts,

ROD:
Life goes on,

NICKY:
Full of surprises.

ROD:
You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes.

CHRISTMAS EVE:
You're going to have to make a few compromises...
For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER:
For now...

ALL:
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!

LUCY:
For now we're healthy.

BRIAN:
For now we're employed.

BAD IDEA BEARS:
For now we're happy...

KATE MONSTER:
If not overjoyed.

PRINCETON:
And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now...

GARY COLEMAN:
For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER:
For now...

KATE MONSTER:
For now...

ALL:
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!

Only for now!
(For now there's life!)
Only for now!
(For now there's love!)
Only for now!
(For now there's work!)
For now there's happiness!
But only for now!
(For now discomfort!)
Only for now!
(For now there's friendship!)
Only for now (For now!)
Only for now!

Only for now! (Sex!)
Is only for now! (Your hair!)
Is only for now! (George Bush!)
Is only for now!

Don't stress,
Relax,
Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes,
Everything in life is only for now!

NICKY:
Each time you smile...

ALL:
...Only for now

KATE MONSTER:
It'll only last a while.

ALL:
...Only for now

PRINCETON:
Life may be scary...

ALL:
...Only for now
But it's only temporary

Ba-dum ba-dum
Ba-dum ba-dum
Ba dum ba-dum
Ba-da da da da
ba-da da-da da da-da
Ba-dum ba-da, ba-dum ba-da
ohhhh-

PRINCETON:
Everything in life is only for now.

"Tiger" Show

Just watched a Thai girl show in Patpong. I will never be the same again.

Freakin Let Go Already!

How can someone as rational as me not be able to fully let go of something that ended 3 years ago?

Off to BKK

Off to BKK tom! A bit nervous about the fact that my presentation is only half-done. Hope it goes well and makes the Philippines look super kickass (which is really my goal). Will really have to finalize it and rehearse to death tom!

Spent all of today in a brainstorming session in Alabang. Major brain drain even if I didn't even put in my usual effort. Was really tired and sleepy by noon. Gave a really inspiring senior management type speech in the end though, which I think people liked :) Problem was, they all said it wasn't like me to be inspiring...Shet. Really need to start transitioning from OC strict boss to nurturing inspiring boss. That's so not me!

Anyway, had dinner alone again. Mike had to cancel our dinner plans cause he had rescheduling patients, who are obviously more important than just going out with me. Can't say that made me feel very wanted but am quite used to being abandoned. Learning here is to really have more friends to hang out with, which means having to open myself up quite a bit more than I do now.

3 Things I'm Grateful for Today:

1. Successful brainstorming session
2. Fantastic Spanish lunch buffet
3. Charging the whole day costs (P52k) to my personal card. Tons of points!

Thanks

Things I'm Grateful for Today:

1. A good IC creative presentation, which means I actually have something I'll be proud to present in the Regional meeting on Thu.
2. Yummy gambas for lunch from Le Delice for only P150 (whowudhavthunkit?)
3. Dad's car available, which meant I didn't have to worry about my color coded car.

Life is good!

So F-in Want One!

Need to find a buyer for my macbook first though...

A few steps closer to a Half Marathon

Just realized that my "wall" comes in early, at around km 2-3. At this point, I feel gangly and heavy. Body is uncoordinated and starting to get really sore. Need to 1) pace at the start and 2) push self beyond 3K and I'll be fine. In fact, I get a great second wind that lasts all the way to 10K and beyond (just had to stop cause knee was complaining).

Realized this blog is getting to be all about running. Will force self to have other life.

Going to Bangkok on Wed for a meeting. Then off to Cambodia! Yipee! About to reach one of life goals!

Surreal Question of the Week

Sunday, 7:30 PM, Jollibee Drive-thru in Q Ave:

Me: Miss, Isang large Coke
Miss: Gusto niyo po ng rice?

Monday and Tuesday

Tiring past couple of days at work. Non-stop meetings from morning to late afternoon left me full of adrenaline (in a bad way). Still feel I'm being my usual sungit impatient self, probably because of the load of work that has to be done.

Spent most of yesterday working on performance evaluations for myself and my team. Got into a major hoolabaloo with boss as he decided to go ahead and align with the leadership team without waiting for our evals. In short, he made his own evaluation and didn't bother to consult us anymore! This kinda leaked out today so he's getting a lot of flak from the gods. Oh well, he really should start following the rules more. I've pretty much given up on him and am just taking advantage of the fact that he's such a nice, nurturing person who doesn't get in my way.

I am hoping for a high performance score so that I get a bigger salary increase next year and hopefully, a promotion by March. Really need the extra freakin money given my condo dues plus crazy spending lifestyle. I do feel I deserve it, given all the extra work load and the quality of work I produce.

Martin has promised to organize a spiritual retreat for me by end November! I really need to do that soon! Relationship with God has become almost non-existent except for unfocused Sunday masses. Really miss the strong emotions and passions I felt a few years ago when I was so active in retreats and spiritual readings. Must find group!

Cambodia won't happen anymore. We weren't able to get airline seats anymore. Super sucks! We might go around Thailand na lang. Would like to do something really different and non-touristy though.

So sick of eating out alone so often....

My 1st 10K

Achieved 1 of my goals for the year--run 10k by December

Survivor

Yey! Survived Bohol pretty much unscathed! Everything I expected to happen, did--screaming kids, non-stop running around, whining dad, etc. I guess being emotionally prepared really helped since I didn't get very affected by any of these. In fact, I empathized with them since they were all so stressed out!

Got a nice tan from the 1 sunny day. Yey! Was also able to sneak in a 2.5k run and another 5k run on the beach. Got a new PR despite having to dodge rocks and giant holes in half dark conditions.

Played poker every night. Ended up being the biggest loser at 700 bucks (down from initial loss of 1,300!) Shit! Apparently don't play that well even with all my complex strategies and aggressive play. Hmmm...seems everyone else is equally aggressive! Good way to bond with everyone though...

Still haven't bonded a lot with my Dad though, even if I had a lot of chances to. Really need to brush up on my Chinese soon!

After I got back last night, really needed to escape from the wholesomeness of a family outing so followed Mike and the gang in Coffee Bean GHills. Chatted for an hour before everyone wanted to leave! And it was only 10 PM! Now that sucked! Haaay...where do I find party friends???

Light Bulb

Work realization for the day: I get easily frustrated and impatient by people not living up to my standards.

Possible drivers: High expectations on self, which I reflect on others as well. Hard on self; never feeling like anything I do is good enough...possibly driven by unmet childhood need for external affirmation.

How to manage: Love self more; accept self more--both the good and bad. Learn to see the good in people vs focusing on what they can do better.

And I'm Off!

Yey! I'm off to Bohol tomorrow! Wonderful escape from office stress the past few weeks. Really need to get away and go to the beach...even if it means doing it with my family and loads of crazy kids!

I promise to chill out this entire vacation and not let them get to me--not the overactive kids that take 2 hours to get anything done, not my overly whining dad (sounds just like me!), not any of the control obsessed people in my family (hmmm...really sounds like me!)

Will just let them set the pace, make all the decisions, take all the time they want, make all the changes they need to....I will...flow.

Meanwhile, had dinner last night with Bff and his SO in Glorietta. Place was surreal with so many stores closed, lights not totally on, and a lot less people than I usually see in that place. Had a cheap but old memories-reviving dinner in Yum Yum Tree. I intentionally tried not to enter any stores but since we had to go through Rustan's, ended up buying a new fragrance and beach sandals :( Damn! I have no self-control on these things, especially when they're on sale!

Seriously need to link up with more people. I can't keep depending only on Bff and Jean for my social life! Maybe it's time to join groups?

Fak!

Ugh...it's 11 AM and I haven't done anything substantial except read about other people's substantial blog lives! Will get out of the house this afternoon! Except my only social offer was to go malling in Shang, which I don't particularly enjoy anymore. Maybe will just meet up with them for dinner or something...Meanwhile, back to the gym alone? How much more substantial is that?

Weeks In Review

So what's been happening the last few weeks?

1. Now running up to 8k. Unfortunately, was not able to record this in my Nike+ as I got ran over by a stupid cyclist at km 3. Accidentally ended my workout. Was swearing for the next km or so...but it did make go faster! Anyway, targeting to hit 10k in my next major run!

2. Work stress continues, but from unexpected sources. Having a lot of people problems with Criselle leaving by end Nov and some risks of my mgt trainee not passing his revalida. I wish it were just a matter of competency, which is quite manageable. But it seems to be more a behavioral limitation, specifically re: confidence and leadership. I don't know if my hard management style is working...maybe I should try to be more nurturing...?

3. My agency is killing me on this one project I'm handling. I really, really am trying to be patient but I really don't understand why they keep coming back to me with unrevised stuff. I hate having to keep repeating my comments over and over. It's such a waste of time! Next time, will ask them to repeat the comments first so I know if they really get it or they're just nodding their heads!

4. Diet isn't going too well. Have been very bad in the last week or so, since I found out my cholesterol count shot up to 255 and I may need to start taking lipitor! Screw this healthy diet!!! But will still try to eat less carbs and fat for vanity! I sorta feel like my belly is slighly smaller but the damn lovehandles are still there! Aarrrgggh.....I miss my cold beer!

5. I've decided that my focus for my 30th year will be Social and Spiritual development (Year 29 was about Health). Both are grossly lacking in my life right now, considering I've pretty much been by myself this whole weekend. Bad Albert!!! Went to mass though...but really need to reconnect with a spiritual group or go on a retreat very soon....It just feels like my life is too superficial right now and I need to get back to what really matters...

4th Run

Yey! Was able to hit 6K and at a super good pace (did 6k at my usual time for a 5k).

In a bit of a funk though as I've been pretty much a loner since yesterday. Folks and Sofy are in Tagaytay and no friends are inviting me out. I can't imagine being home alone for another whole day :( Even solitary people want some company sometimes...

Longest Run

And good solid pace :)

At 30, I will be in the best shape of my life!

Turning 28

2 birthdays ago, I made a list of things to do before I turned 28. Let's see how many 've actually accomplished...

THINGS TO DO BEFORE I TURN 28

1. Travel More (2 of below):
a. Australia/New Zealand
b. Western Europe
c. East Coast
d. Palawan

Oh shit. Haven't been to any of the above. Was able to go to Bangkok, HK, Singapore and KL though (for work). Will have to get out of ASEAN soon!

2. Learn New Hobbies/Skills:
a. Play better badminton
b. Study Photography
c. Study iMovie and Flash
d. Yoga
e. Wall Climb
f. Swim

D. check F. semi-check. Also became a runner.

3. Be Healthier
a. Eat Better (see Credo)
b. Sleep by 11 on weekdays (stop watching Blind Date!)
c. Gym 3x a week

A and C check!

4. Do More Nature Things
a. Beach every quarter
b. Hike somewhere
c. Dive more!

Ack!!! Haven't been out of the Metro!

5. Be More Spiritual
a. Church every Sunday
b. More active in LD
c. Read spiritual books
d. Pray everyday
e. Read the bible/gospel

My bad :( Really haven't focused on my spiritual life the same way as before. Maybe I'll start with some light spiritual reading...

6. Earn More, Save More
a. Sideline job
b. Save for big spendings
c. Put in bank/investment at least 50% of income
d. Spend more wisely on food, spa, Mac stuff

Clearly not very good at this as I'm living from paycheck to paycheck coz of condo payments. LIfestyle hasn't receded either.

7. More independent
a. Live in own place!!
b. Fix bedroom/bathroom once and for all

I'm buying a condo. That's a start!

8. Better family relations
a. Sunday is family day

Guess who spent Sunday alone?

9. Social Works
a. Volunteer

Does 1 tree planting and GK activity count? :(

10. Finalize Career
a. Teach na!
b. Do “sideline”

Hmmm...not sure if going back to corporate qualifies as finalizing career...I'll say YES.

11. Social Life
a. Go out with St Jude friends
b. Go out with Ateneo friends
c. Go on more dates!

I'm trying!!!

Net, have to improve on 1) Spiritual; 2) Family; 3) Social Works; 4) Nature; 5) Finances. These will be my priorities now that I'm...gulp...30!

My 1st Official Run

Did it in the Fort last night, despite the drizzle. Would have run faster if I didn't have to dodge potholes and killer buses. Some learnings though...

1. Change to workout clothes before going to the site. Not very easy to dress up in the car in the middle of the parking lot.

2. Bring extra clothes, which I totally forgot to do so I couldn't change my shirt!

3. Eat carbs before the run.

4. Be prepared with water.

5. Wear a bright colored shirt. Otherwise, potential roadkill!

Really want to buy more running shirts and shorts but can't afford them right now :(

Zzzzzzzzzz

It's so dark and rainy...don't really want to work. Just waiting for 6-7pm so I can leave the office.

Haven't been particularly inspired to work lately. Have just been coming in for the sake of, and spend the time counting hours til I can leave. Been a very good boy though, health wise. Have been going to the gym pretty regularly, at least 2-3x a week. Was also able to run around 4km last Sunday despite the crazy rain.

Have also started my semi-health diet...limited simple carbs and saturated fats. After 1 week of pain and suffering, honestly don't feel that much healthier or lighter or slimmer...just have a constant gnawing pain in my gut from lack of rice :(

But also proud of my level of discipline. Have been faced with multiple parties, expensive Japanese dinners, Haagen Dazs ice cream...and was able to stop myself from eating :)

BTW, bought a birthday gift to myself already, or should I say, gifts. In the spirit of taking my running seriously (best excuse!), got myself an ipod nano 8gb and the nike+ ipod kit! Haven't been able to try them out yet as rains kept pouring this AM and I didn't wake up! Grrrrrr....no way will I inaugurate them via a treadmill!

1 hour to go and I'm freeeeeeeeeeee!

Farewell

Had a great farewell dinner for McCann in Le Souffle tonight. I'll really miss them so much, especially Coco, CJ (who already left a few months ago), Agnes, Ronald, etc. But was most affected by Nandy, who I admire and respect a lot. I still remember the days as a Coke trainee when Nandy was my account manager. He was so brillant, suave, and confident, that I'd always feel so insecure about myself, even as a client. Even up to now, I hold him in such high regard (and admittedly, am still very much intimidated by him!)

Hay, how I miss working with McCann who I get along so much better than my current agency. Also miss how much more good looking they are than the people I have to work with now! hahaha

Anyway, the food was fabulous...so my diet is off to a rocky start. Didn't have too much carbs though (but a lot of red wine). Had sea bass, lamb chops, rib eye steak, a little risotto, and a breaded chicken thingie. Didn't have bread, creamy soup, or dessert. I guess that's a win already!

PS. Found out that Hans, one of the McCann people, read my blog. Ack! How embarrassing!

Here are some pics

I've no money left and it was just payday last week. This condo payments are killing me! Have to adjust my spending :(

In KL airport waiting for boarding. Really sleepy now, so I guess pharmaton doesn't really work. While this jetsetter life is great, ie. I got a limo service to airport, I can't wait to get back home. Really miss Sofy and feeling in control re: where I am.

The Philippines is so far from Malaysia in terms of economic development. This makes me feel so sad...but at the same time, I guess it's my responsibility as a Pinoy to somehow elevate our status in Asia Pacific.

Lessons Learned

Things I learned from this regional meeting:

1. Just like any brand, you have to ensure top of mind awareness and build your equity with the regional gods for both business and career advancement.

2. I'm not very comfortable having to be so extroverted--all the small talk and late night socials. But this is KEY to building relationships with these people.

3. Reality of regional work is lots of coordination. This hit home with all the group writing we had to do which I thoroughly detest. But have to find my inner patience and positive vibe in order to be able to work well with multiple markets and yet create a decent output.

4. I seem to have a strong desire to make friends with everyone else, which I guess is a good thing. It's so refreshing to be able to compare work and personal stories with people from very different backgrounds. I really like having international friends...and I'm suddenly a lot more interesting coz I can talk about so many things re: Philippines. I'm now bff's with people from Malaysia, (sorta) Thailand, Korea, China...I'm still a bit scared of the caucasians though, hehe. It's probably a imperialistic, low esteem, cultural thing.

5. I've been working on brands that no one in the region cares about--powder and cologne. The big stories are in lotion and wash, which I don't really know that much about. Need to take advantage of this opportunity while Juni's gone to get regional exposure.

6. I'm too negative and cynical and complain too much. Need to cultivate a more happy, positive attitude about life and work.

7. The world is soooo much bigger than my current existence.

8. I shouldn't be too hard on myself.

Lonely Planet

I'm seriously considering travelling to Siem Reap, Cambodia for my birthday...alone if necessary.

Dog Tired and Confused

Longest day of my working life. Started at 9am but technically awake since 7, since I was getting nervous about showing up alone, not knowing anyone. Had a very healthy breakfast with Alex around 8am but had to go to the meeting room alone. Thank God I immediately bumped into Tina, who kept me decently socially covered while all the strange foreigners were chatting around me.

God, hot house sessions are harsh--started strictly at 9 and didn't end til 8pm. There were very few breaks in between, and we'd have only around 5-10 mins to get the tasks done. However, the insighting requirements are not that hard; in fact, it's a piece of cake for me as I'm so used to churning them out all the time.

What was more difficult was the small talk that I had to do with these people. Started out with the socially inept Thais which I kinda wanted to get to know since I will work with them so much. They're not the brightest of the bunch. I also met the Malaysian team who are giving us so much pain right now in one of our projects. Met Caroline, my regional franchise manager for baby, which is now irrelevant since she's leaving in 2 weeks.

Really have to use this opportunity to be noticed by the right people--at the very least the Gods of Region--Phil and Elkie. Actually had dinner with Elkie but didn't get much interaction as he was quite masungit. I'm still intimidated by caucasian Phil so have tried to avoid him as much as possible.

In the meantime, had a drink with Tina an hour ago. She's still encouraging me to pursue either the Shanghai opening or a Regional position. She said that while it was tough especially on the work front, it was all made up by all the new experiences and her much broadened horizons and social network. This got me really excited...after all, what the hell am I hanging around in the Philippines for?

Question is, do I really want to work all that hard all over again?

Fear and Loathing in KL

Will be in KL this whole week for a regional brainstorming thing. A part of me is excited to be out of the country and doing something different. But a bigger part of me is nervous about being in such a high level meeting. I also don't know a lot of people and it takes so much effort for me to make small talk. Oh well, I guess I have to start getting comfortable with this as this will probably be my normal world in a few years.

My goals for the meeting:
1. Make sure everyone knows me, especially the Gods
2. Actively participate
3. Come up with brilliant ideas
4. Volunteer to present as much as possible
5. Take the lead! Be the star!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I will so need to come in confident, extroverted, full of pep and energy!!!!

At the very least, I think I can moderate which I seem to do quite well...

I wonder if I will have any time at all to go around the city...

Shit! Just realized I don't have any cash with me! Drats!

Mother Mother

My mom pisses me off. I rarely have interactions with her where I don't end up sulking or being an asshole. I think it's because:

1. She treats me like a child--just now I told her I was flying off to KL next week. she told me to make sure I ate fruits and veggies and limit my meat intake. She texts every night at around 10PM to ask where I am. 30 years old and I still can't take care of myself on anything--that's the message I take out all the time. I know this is common for a lot of people and I will just have to accept, if not embrace it. Also, should learn not to hinge my self-esteem on how others perceive me.

2. Forces me to commit on plans--now this is really petty and selfish but still...I hate how she always asks me what my plans are the next day. To be honest, I like to have some flexibility especially on weekends to do what I feel. This isn't possible when you're suddenly committed to drive her somewhere at 2 PM, or to have dinner in the other side of the city.

3. Can ask really silly questions--grrr can get so kulit at times. frustrating also how she can't get the hang of any gadget, including her phone.

4. Can say anything straight to my face--always has a complicated roundabout, parinig way of saying what she really thinks. This so goes against my own "let's get to the point" mentality.

Now I feel guilty for thinking of my mom this way...

out of commission

ugh...i feel sick...head hurts, fever, malaise...must have been the overtraining over the weekend.

Black and White

My personal insecurities:

1. Body issues--always been too skinny; now I'm too skinny with a belly and lovehandles
2. Face--hate my chinese eyes, small nose, big lips, bad skin
3. Lousy at anything athletic
4. Don't have a lot of friends. Nothing sadder than going straight home from work on a Friday
5. Zero lovelife.

Things I should rather focus on:

1. I'm smart
2. I'm not fugly
3. The chinito thing appeals to a small, albeit very specific segment
4. Financially independent
5. I can make people laugh
6. I can command attention in presentations
7. I'm good at what I do

Envy

I have a friend who seems to have everything:
1. Great career-doctor
2. Wonderful family relationship
3. Great, seemingly-perfect relationship
4. Athletic and "a great catch"
5. Popular with lots of friends

I know I should just count my blessings but fuck, I feel really jealous.

Anyway, I had a great videoke night with J&J folks. I SERIOUSLY got into it, obviously releasing a lot of angst by singing songs like "Plush" and "All Apologies." Had 5 beers but just a minor buzz--damn I'm getting immune to it!

It's a little sad how hungry I am for these type of escapist activities. Really shows how repressed I am. Lately, I've also had a strange obsession with house music and am craving to go to a club to get drunk (get high?) and DANCE!!!! Unfortunately, haven't found anyone who would go with me :(

Fuck I have to be a mass reader for a friend's wedding tom in 6 hours and haven't slept a wink!

Grrrrr

Got really pissed today with this HR assistant who forgot to tell me that my scheduled interview for project assistants were cancelled. Grrrr! Really hate inefficiency! Clearly another sign of my need for control, which to be honest, I don't think is all that bad. I just don't understand why people can't be considerate enough to do what they promise. How can people expect me to be all happy, happy, smiley when they can't even do their work well?

As life coach Myra would say, I'm too hard on myself and expect others to live up to unrealistic expectations. How can informing me of changes in sched be unrealistic? Isn't that just plain courtesy?

Tat Thoughts

Seriously thinking of getting a tat. I just hope it's not because I'm still trying to shed off my good chinese schoolboy image after more than 10 years. Worse, I may be dreading the big 3 0 !

Dunno what to get though. I find native or tribal scripts so cliche. Chinese characters are out of the question as I will seriously look too Yakuza.

One good thing though is that I'm not scared of the pain. Anyone who goes to the derma regularly will agree :)

I'm thinking of an inspiring latin word or phrase like "a posse ad esse" -- from possibility to actuality. Taray!

Ouchie

Strained my lower back doing power cleans yesterday at the gym...damn...so no yoga today. Back hurts so bad I can't even bend through the waist so I end up squatting just to pick something up from the floor. Still, was a very good boy and went running in UP at 7 AM today (!) despite the pain. Did pretty well. Ran for 20 mins straight with no break (1.5 laps), then ran another 15 mins and then another 10 (couldn't resist the kwek kwek na! heheh). Ended up doing almost 3 laps. Yey! Although I found out from ever reliable Francine that the oval is 2.2km and not 3.2kms. Damn. So I only did 6km+ in 50 mins! That sucks!

After which, I went to Fitness Ortigas to take a shower and killed time in Starbucks til I met my folks for lunch in Shang. Starbucks was wonderfully quiet and deserted, except for 1 group that seemed to be doing some kind of sharing. While reading my pseudo intellectual infinitely boring book, I sorta overheard their discussion which seemed very fascinating. What I could surmise was that they set specific life goals and would meet regularly to update and assess where they are in terms of achieving them. You start off talking about what you've accomplished this week and then the group would give their support by clarifying, affirming, or even questioning your actions. I loved the fact that they had everything written down/documented which made it all seem very clear and accountable. The facilitator seemed to really know what she was doing, asking really tough but helpful questions to help you process your thoughts.

I want to start something like this with my friends...or at the very least, join a support group like this. JC mentioned to us that he recently reviewed his 10 year plan which he made 10 years ago, and he realized he hasn't fulfilled any of his goals, except for getting married!

Will really start working on my 10 year plan seriously now. But I first need to figure out what my mission/vision is!

Fuck I want one

My condo will look like a Mac (or the office of Ugly Betty)

F Bombs

As part of life goal to have more of a social life, forced some friends out to dinner last night. Went to Haiku which I love...more for the ambience than the food actually. Unfortunately, Ranj and Harold had a movie to catch at 9 PM which I politely declined to join as it not my favorite genre--horror. So stuck around with bff in M Cafe (another one of those nice interiors, ok lang food places). Never realized it was such an expat hangout on Friday nights so felt really Indio especially since everyone was partying outside and we were in cool air-conditioned comfort (so Pinoy!). Had 2 yummy Cosmos (how girly can you get!) which, combined lethally with my dinner beer. So became my usual happy happy buzzed self, shouting more than talking, making okray (which I do even when sober haha), and wanting to hug everyone around. Needless to say, bff got stressed as hell--bwahahaha...

Also met this hardcore gym guy with awesome abs (don't ask how I know). Syempre I had to interview him for fitness and diet tips. He hasn't had fuckin carbs for 3 years--how fucking sad is that???!! So theoretically I know what it takes to get abs but I don't think I will make it alive emotionally. Food is comfort. Food is life! It's the reason God made cows! hahaha

Given my fuckin workload, I really fuckin deserve a promotion! Will push for one by March! Or else.....

Love this lovely weather. Wanna ruuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emo State: Druggy from lack of sleep but Fidgety

Runner's High

Was able to squeeze in a nice run today despite having to do some work stuff in the AM. Went to UP (without poor Sofy!) so that I could once and for all start what I promised to do. Weather was nice, cool, and fresh given the rains earlier in the day. There were quite a few people there as well trying to make the most of the holiday.

I've never been much of a cardio guy...I can only last 3 mins in a treadmill even with sounds and a TV. But there's something different about running in the REAL world...with real views, real obstacles and real weather.

What did it for me more than anything though, is the Podrunner podcast I downloaded. It's freakin' fantastic! Basically, it plays an hour long mix of house and techno music set at different beats per second (bps). You base your run pace with the beat which makes it a very helpful guide in terms of maintaining a certain pace or even speeding up and down, depending on your workout. The music also helps push yourself further especially with the thought that you shouldn't stop until the music ends.

I was able to do 2 loops around the UP sunken garden area which is roughly 6++km in around 30 mins. Not bad for a first timer with no cardio back-up.

However, my legs and feet are now sore as hell. My expensive Nike running shoes suck!

Late

I'm stressing out cause I'm late for my Sunday yoga class which I take to de-stress.

Saturday Night Beer

Spent all of today (and up to 1 AM last night) working on my powder TVC. Not too happy about the acting--too contrived--but not much I can do. That's the problem with having a Thai director and actors...they don't get the nuances of genuine emotion that are so common among us Pinoys. Plus I need to pay P6M++ for a very basic production. This regional production mandate sucks!

Was able to rush to the gym after everything was done though! Good for me!

Forgot my mom's birthday yesterday!!!! My bad!!!!!!!! So will have to drive up to Tagaytay tom for dinner since family is all there. Not really looking forward to it but duty calls. And the loner in me really enjoys the solitary long drive.

Why am I home on a Saturday night? Bff is back with lovie as predicted so I've been abandoned yet again.

Will not get lonely and depressed. Will drink my ice cold beer and eat salty peanuts and watch TV!

Work, Work, Self-Assessment

Pretty OK day today work-wise. Had to start a bit early for this weird senior management level strat plan session. In essence, they presented to us commoners their recommended growth initiatives for the next 5 years (which is ironic as we were the ones who actually did the legwork). I was not really very involved cause I pretty much knew what they would be presenting. But I found it quite funny that they got worried when people did not getting excited by their plans. This just shows how much they're just like us ordinary folks needing emotional affirmation...just with better cars and higher salaries.


Also had my "how are you" session with boss. Net net, lots of good traits but have to improve on the ff:
1. Collaboration and Teaming--coming from the Agency. My response-the feeling is mutual. Still got depressed though at the fact that some people (even people I couldn't care less about) don't like me. Hay, need to really have better self esteem and not be dependent on others' perceptions of me

2. Manage emotions/mood swings better. Really have to put all the yoga and meditation learnings into practice. Need to be calm and centered and unmoved by emotional waves of life. Easier said than done but will definitely be a sign of maturity.

Didn't get to go to the gym anymore as stayed a bit late to chat with Juni. Wish her all the best as she leaves for Singapore next next week. Not as happy about the additional work I will have to take on. Just have to think of it as opportunity to show Gods I can handle anything without whining or killing self.

Meanwhile, discovered someone's blog which I enjoyed reading tremendously. Stayed up until 2 AM last night to go through all the entries. Made me realize I'm not as emotionally honest and open in my blog and that I don't have much of a life beyond work.

8 AM meeting tom. Drats!

4 Day Holiday

Today is the tail end of a 4 day holiday. Went on leave Friday and today's a national holiday. Keep thinking about all the exciting things I could have done in 4 days but didn't. Just spent the whole time watching DVDs and going to the gym. Really do need to have more gimmick friends or start to enjoy family activities more.

Going to Sonya's now with bff. Need to console him from his nth break-up. How I wish he'd have the balls to just quit it once and for all...but I guess that's not how love works.

Long Term Commitment

I finally did it! I have just made a long term commitment by buying a condo. I really wasn't planning to give my go signal til I went to work, but they did reverse psychology on me by saying that I couldn't get the unit I wanted as it was being reserved for roadshows in the States (OCW's are the biggest condo investors, fyi). This spurred me to argue and fight my way to make sure I got the unit--with matching waiting for approval from the President! (Come to think of it, this is also how I got signed up for Jnj again...)

As a consequence, I had to prove that I was a serious buyer, ergo, needed to give my reservation fee already. This means that I will have to pay the horrendously large down payment by next month, April 1. Horror, need to divest all my investments. Anyone want to lend me money?

The true test will be in writing 48 post dated checks, with the last one having millions as balance payment. I feel nauseated. TJ/Lynette--did you go through this too?

Anyway, here's my unit:



Note the cool unit number--24K! Note also that I'm planning to tear down the wall for the 1st floor bedroom and convert it to a glass sliding panel to make the place less constricted. No idea yet what to do with the room though...probably a study cum library. Problem is, where do I now put the TV?

Oooh...I feel so adult all of a sudden!

Guys--please block off your scheds for a house warming party in 2012!

And the Rat Race is On

I'm about to send my official acceptance for the Jnj job. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do but at this point, I do feel very excited about it (plus the fact that I have only 2k left in the bank). Wish me luck!

Condo hunting is fun...it's nice to obsess about something with so many details to look at. It's just like gadget shopping only 100x more expensive and will commit about 10 years of your working life to paying for it (TJ should be able to relate). I'm pretty much clear as to my condo--it will be The Fort Residences by Robinsons. Main reason is that because it will be turned over 2011 pa, I actually have 48 months to pay which definitely helps a lot. Also, it's relatively cheap per square at P75k.

Now my big problem is, I have 2 unit options:

1. 12th Floor 2 BR Flat, 77 sq--corner views of a park and relatively open space (coz the open air pool is directly below)
2. 24th Floor 2 BR Flat, 78 sq--single view of condos across the street. but since it's high, it'll probably see across their rooftops

Will be spending the weekend in Tagaytay, yey! It's JC and Sarah's wedding tom!

I have a f***ing headache from caffeine withdrawal :(

Condo Obsessions

I spent the weekend obsessing about Fort condos. This was spurred by my dad's decision to sell off (my!) 1BR Serendra unit in order to get a 3BR unit in St. Francis Shangrila. I'm definitely happy about the potential move from this hellhole but I'm not really an Ortigas kind of guy (I keep getting lost) and I don't think I'll be able to stand the daily Edsa commute that some of my officemates have to endure. Plus, I love my folks and all, but I don't think I can live 5 feet away from them for the rest of my life!

Anyway, I'll probably end up with a mid-priced unit (P3.5M-P4M). Options include:

1. The Fort Residences by Robinsons--relatively cheap, but do I really want a loft and it's corresponding aircon bills?




2. Sapphire Residences by G&W




3. My dream condo--The Icon 2 Tower



Located across UCC, this is the only remaining lot that will have a view of the Manila Golf Course.





Plus, at 61 sq m, you won't feel claustrophobic at all!



The drawback? It's P5.5M!!!!! Aaarrggghhh

Headbanging at Home

Stayed home all day, theoretically to finish a presentation for tomorrow. But actually, just got really lazy again to brave the traffic, which always leads to guilt at having such a sedentary life + not reaching goals of being a man of limitless possibilities. It has gotten so bad that I wake up at 9 AM and have a nap every 4 PM.

Promise to be active tomorrow!

"Borrowed" 2 magazines from QC Sports Club library yesterday. It's about integrating corporate work with Christianity. Quite interesting..!

Will get my Jnj job offer on Friday, I can't wait. Just give me 10% more and I'll be happy. Give me 5% more and I'll still accept. That's how much leverage I have now.

Happy song of the moment--The Killers' "Somebody Told Me". Can't stop playing this song! Would love to be drunk and rocking/headbanging to this song in a live concert but don't really have these type of gimmick friends :(

Top 10 Food Cravings

1. Cochinillo and Iberian Chicken from Casa Armas
2. Singapore Chili Crab with fried buns (from now defunct Palm Beach)
3. Tagliatelle Tartuffo from L'Opera--super sinful with loads of truffle oil cream and parma ham
4. Don Quixote sandwich from Terry's--P350 bucks for a super thin jamon serrano and manchego cheese sandwich. But man, it's worth every freakin penny
5. Baby back ribs and unlimited garlic rice from Gastoff in Bora
6. House burger in Breakfast at Antonio's--juciest burger in town. The fresh corned beef ain't bad either.
7. Kaki Kari Kari Yaki at Sugi's--I love introducing this fried oyster dish to people. Always makes people orgasmic.
8. Pan seared foie gras--anywhere you can get it. Try it with fresh salad in Gourmand.
9. Lengua from Hizon's--so soft it's like french kissing a cow
10.Medium rare rib-eye (just starting to grain) from Highlands steakhouse.

What's yours?

Weekend Update

Watched Curse of the Golden Flower last Friday. Read horrid reviews about it but felt that I owe it to my folks to watch historical Chinese movies. I also felt I needed to demonstrate my fidelity to the director Zhang Yimou for creating my favorite movie ever, Hero. And of course, it features the gorgeous, gorgeous Gong Li who we should all show our eternal devotion to.

The movie was an overblown melodramatic telenovela with really good costume and set design. It was pure eye candy but the over the top acting was the complete opposite of the zen that is Hero. Even House of the Flying Daggers, with its overextended, please-just-die-so-we-can-all-go-home ending, has much more substance than this frivolous royal family squabble.

Oh well, Gong Li is still a goddess.







PS. Got so depressed so I watched Hero again yesterday and Wong Kar Wai's Chungking Express

When, Damn It?

I can't wait to go back to work. Problem is, I still don't have work to go back to. The Jnj thing is moving at a snail's pace and CP is obviously not in a great hurry either. I have 2 headhunter interviews I'm trying to delay aka cancel cause I honestly am sick and tired of talking about myself over and over. But I just might have to take them up on it if things still don't move within the week.

In the meantime, I really should be finishing up my balance projects in YBS and JVP which, to be honest, I've been procrastinating about. The thing about no deadlines and really non-OC clients is that you can actually delay presentations for a month or more. Good for work life balance, Bad for getting anything done.

I also promise not to keep wasting my time watching TV and going to the mall. Will start doing active empowering things I've been promising to do:

-Learn to bike
-Take photography classes
-Dive
-Wall climb
-Swim better
-Travel, travel, travel

More pics

Accomplishment of the Day

Given my unemployed status, I don't really get much done everyday. My usual routine involves waking up around 830, having a looong leisurely breakfast, surfing all AM, waiting for lunch, gym in pm, wait for dinner, then TV all night. Now that's a bum life. Strangely enough, I don't really feel bad about it. I could continue doing this forever if it weren't for the small inconvenience of seeing my savings literally disappear before my eyes.

Anyway, my main accomplishment of the day is getting Sofy groomed. Here are some cute pics of Sofy and some dogs for sale in the pet center which I want to take home!!!

Save the World from Cavities!

Had my HR interview in Colgate today. Boy, the office was really Jurassic...as in you feel like you're back in the Marcos era. Anyway, didn't really prepare for this meeting at all; in fact, I was almost late!

Meeting went well, it's easy to puff up your accomplishments when you're with people who don't really know what you're talking about (esp. HR! hehe). So I made it seem like I could walk on water and the HR dude was pretty impressed.

I know I did well cause I got a call from the headhunter an hour later scheduling me for a meeting with the Marketing Manager! Yahoo!

I actually don't want to work there..it seems like work life balance is not a company value vs performance and results. But it's not like I have so many choices at this point anyway...

Maybe the offer will change my mind! Doubt it though.

PS. I did my first headstand yesterday in yoga class (with teachers' help). Got a round of applause from the rest of the group! hehehe

3 Days in the Motherland

Just came back last night from 3 days in Fujian Province China, more specifically, in our little village somewhere in the outskirts near Xiamen. Was there to celebrate my Grandma's 2nd death anniversary which is apparently a big deal (the soul is in heaven na or something like that)

Some pics:


A typical "eskinita" in the village


A doorway in our house...Very mulan!


The Buddhist temple were Grandma's cremated remains are kept


The prayer area in the house

More pics and insights to come!

Apple iPhone

I want one! Unfortunately it only comes out 2008 in Asia. At least I have time to save up!

Don't know if I can text in the car though...



Coolest features:

1. Finger scrolling technology.
2. Automatically switches from landscape to portrait when you flip your phone. Automatically converts to call mode when you put near your face.
3. At last, the widescreen iPod!

My Career Planning Notes

Personality:
I: Prefer to focus on inner world of thoughts, feelings, impressions
S: Present reality and info through senses
T: Judgements based on logic and objective analysis
J; Planned and organized approach

ISTJ:Serious, responsible, stalwarts of society. Practical and realistic. Painstakingly
accurate and methodical. Great powers of concentration. Can be depended on
to accomplish in an orderly manner

Career: technical naturre, product or service done in a thoughtful logical way
Being independent, with plenty of time to work alone

Not good at: flexibility. Working with lots of peole. Variety


Interests:
Investigative: Work alone. Idea oriented and creative in scientific areas.
Abstract, analytical, intellectual, task oriented

Social: Sociable, popular, responsible. Interested in problems and concerns of
others. Like activities that allow them to teach, inform, train, develop, cure and help

Enterprising: position of leading or convincing others to achieve team/org goals
Enthusiastic, dominant, impatient


Job I Like:
Work with structure
Contributing independently
Routine work
Have time for self/family/friends
Work with facts and concrete info
Working with abstract ideas
Work with specific details
Sharing expertise with others
Comply with standard processes
Being highly specialized
Quiet, focused work with deep thought
Working in an orderly manner


What's Important to Me Now
1. I spend on:
Health Looks Books Food

2. Ideal Job:
flexible time work alone deep analysis focused work

3. Happiest at work:
crack a complex prob recognized for good job can go home early

4. Free time
gym eat out movies/mall chat with friends tv/read

5. Near future personal goals
earn more travel live alone healthier less stress


Top 10
Achievement
Sense of affection
Financial Security
Friendship/Companionship
Slower pace/stress
Physical Health
Independence
Recognition
Intellectual Exertion
Aesthetics

Top 5 Ranked Values
1. Independence: Work alone, make decisions
2. Less Stress: Slower pace, not as frustrating
3. Financial Security: Compensation/benefits
4. Recognition: Get praise
5. Companionship: Warm, friendly working environment

Vision Statement
I see myself working in a warm, supportive, yet structured environment that
challenges me intellectually while giving me personal space. Recognition and
financial gain will be some of the rewards of my work.

Options

Option 1: YBS, JVP, Teach

Criteria Weight Rating Weighted Score
Independence 30.0% 4 1.2
Less Stress 25.0% 4 1
Financial Security 20.0% 1 0.2
Recognition 15.0% 1 0.15
Companionship 10.0% 3 0.3 2.85

Option 2: Johnsons SBM

Criteria Weight Rating Weighted Score
Independence 30.0% 2 0.6
Less Stress 25.0% 2 0.5
Financial Security 20.0% 4 0.8
Recognition 15.0% 3 0.45
Companionship 10.0% 3 0.3 2.65

Option 3: Regional Mktg

Criteria Weight Rating Weighted Score
Independence 30.0% 2 0.6
Less Stress 25.0% 1 0.25
Financial Security 20.0% 4 0.8
Recognition 15.0% 4 0.6
Companionship 10.0% 2 0.2 2.45

Thoughts on Complacency

Jan 9, 2007

Writing this in Word right now, as blogspot is taking forever to load. Plus, I kinda can’t get into my own blog (something about the password) so I may have to download this to a new site.

Haven’t really blogged for a couple of months. The initial thrill probably wore off. But really feel the urge to write again for several reasons:

1) I’m really bored. Can’t go out of the house cause it’s Quiapo day and wouldn’t want to risk getting stranded.
2) I’m trying to escape from doing this Marketing Plan for an industry I don’t know shit about
3) I’m kinda in a major turmoil right now…career-wise (see separate post)
4) I’ve been reading this book called “Why Am I Afraid To Show You Who I Really Am?” I know, it’s the cheesiest Oprah title ever, but in fairness, it’s a very good book about how we hide behind masks and are afraid to reveal our real selves not just to others, but to ourselves as well. As such, goal is to constantly assess self and open up to feelings without judgments

So how am I feeling now…Complacent

How are you complacent? I know I need to find a new job or work harder at my current job but have no energy or desire to push myself…inertia is at work. I pretty much spend all possible free time at the gym, watching TV, reading, malling, etc. Ironically, I keep worrying about my future given my financial problems now, but not doing much to actively resolve it.

What is causing this complacency? No external push to make things happen. No internal goals that I am passionate about reaching. Just going through my days making them as easy as possible. Plus, it feels good to not have any stress!

What is the root of this complacency? Hedonistic self-centered attitude. An exaggerated response to too much stress in my previous life. The lack of purposeful direction. The expectation that the world will fix itself for me. Escaping from real world responsibilities.

What is the potential effect of this? If I continue this long term, I will end up will no money, even less energy, no active involvement and contribution to the world in any way. Life will be very self-centered and will have no passions or excitement or purpose.

Funny, as I was writing this, a headhunter called for some job openings. I’m getting really worried that I’m wasting all of these offers, including the J&J one which expires this week. Maybe this is God’s way of hinting that I go back? I mean, I’m kinda sure I can do a good job wherever I’m placed…question is, do I want to go back to that hell? Or maybe it’s really an attitude change that is required?


I have to admit, it feels really good to get these offers…soothes the ego somewhat. It’s like being dumped then getting new offers to go out (not that I’ve experienced this before).

At the same time, this is one of those gusts of wind that’s so tempting to follow just because I don’t have an oar or a map of my own.

So what’s the gameplan…?

1. Explore all opportunities. Now is not the time to be closed-minded.
2. Continue to discern what you really want in life.
3. Most importantly, figure out a way to get it.