Thoughts on Complacency

Jan 9, 2007

Writing this in Word right now, as blogspot is taking forever to load. Plus, I kinda can’t get into my own blog (something about the password) so I may have to download this to a new site.

Haven’t really blogged for a couple of months. The initial thrill probably wore off. But really feel the urge to write again for several reasons:

1) I’m really bored. Can’t go out of the house cause it’s Quiapo day and wouldn’t want to risk getting stranded.
2) I’m trying to escape from doing this Marketing Plan for an industry I don’t know shit about
3) I’m kinda in a major turmoil right now…career-wise (see separate post)
4) I’ve been reading this book called “Why Am I Afraid To Show You Who I Really Am?” I know, it’s the cheesiest Oprah title ever, but in fairness, it’s a very good book about how we hide behind masks and are afraid to reveal our real selves not just to others, but to ourselves as well. As such, goal is to constantly assess self and open up to feelings without judgments

So how am I feeling now…Complacent

How are you complacent? I know I need to find a new job or work harder at my current job but have no energy or desire to push myself…inertia is at work. I pretty much spend all possible free time at the gym, watching TV, reading, malling, etc. Ironically, I keep worrying about my future given my financial problems now, but not doing much to actively resolve it.

What is causing this complacency? No external push to make things happen. No internal goals that I am passionate about reaching. Just going through my days making them as easy as possible. Plus, it feels good to not have any stress!

What is the root of this complacency? Hedonistic self-centered attitude. An exaggerated response to too much stress in my previous life. The lack of purposeful direction. The expectation that the world will fix itself for me. Escaping from real world responsibilities.

What is the potential effect of this? If I continue this long term, I will end up will no money, even less energy, no active involvement and contribution to the world in any way. Life will be very self-centered and will have no passions or excitement or purpose.

Funny, as I was writing this, a headhunter called for some job openings. I’m getting really worried that I’m wasting all of these offers, including the J&J one which expires this week. Maybe this is God’s way of hinting that I go back? I mean, I’m kinda sure I can do a good job wherever I’m placed…question is, do I want to go back to that hell? Or maybe it’s really an attitude change that is required?


I have to admit, it feels really good to get these offers…soothes the ego somewhat. It’s like being dumped then getting new offers to go out (not that I’ve experienced this before).

At the same time, this is one of those gusts of wind that’s so tempting to follow just because I don’t have an oar or a map of my own.

So what’s the gameplan…?

1. Explore all opportunities. Now is not the time to be closed-minded.
2. Continue to discern what you really want in life.
3. Most importantly, figure out a way to get it.