Crazy

Marketing Director just told me there's now a new option...I may be assigned to Thailand instead. Yehey!!! There's hope! I heart Thailand!

They will decide raw by end of the week. Meanwhile, I'm going crazy!!!!

Almost But Not Quite

Grrr...still haven't beaten the 30 min mark for 5k. Oh well, there's always next Sunday. I really should run a 10k again.



I promise to join a race by March!!!

Bully

In my performance evaluation with boss a few weeks back, I had a major light bulb moment. It seems that I can handle people very well when I see them as good workers but not as well when they don't live up to my high standards. Thus, how easy it is for me to manage certain subordinates but how others, including my agency and trade marketing people, can't stand me. I easily get impatient, frustrated, and start power tripping and instilling my "scare tactics."

Definitely stems from spoiled brattiness, always needing to get what I want when I want. And when I don't, well hell hath no fury like a manager pissed.

As boss says, it's 70% patience, patience, patience. And probably a change in priority from the quality of work to the person's development. That's really tough for me as good work is my non-negotiable...

Well it all starts with being mindful and conscious of it. Let's see how well I can control myself.

Rape Me

Right now, I look like I belong to a Stresstab ad...pale, gaunt, heavy eyebags, wild unkempt hair. Might be getting a fever too. So instead of going to the GMA party where everyone is, I've decided to stay home and watch Project Runway.

My social life goal for the year isn't exactly working out as planned...

On a Diet

I'm on a diet now, specifically a fiscal one. This stemmed from a hard realization yesterday that I was a shoppaholic, a careless splurger, and not very good saver. Of course had to go into laddering exercises to figure out the source of this addiction. Offhand, seem to stem from 2 sources-control issues and need for affirmation (why does everything seem to stem from these?).

So I've decided to cut down on spending. First task is to write down all my expenses so I see where my money really goes. So I'm super craving for a nice resto dinner now before going to the gym but just decided to eat at home before going to save up some cash. Sigh...but I'm super craving for ramen right now :(

On the topic of issues, a couple of us Marketing folk stayed after the session in Makati and talked about our issues. I seem to have quite a lot even beyond the 2 ones I already mentioned, such as making people feel small (which is how I respond to how I was also treated), my emotional wall, etc. Man, will really need to reflect on these more in the next few days.

Jeff just confirmed that they want to assign me to Jakarta. Oh shit...