More Cambodia Pics

Tons more pics. Just go to my Friendster account.

Meanwhile, Manila is in chaos again given Sen. Trillanes' 2nd takeover attempt, this time in the Manila Pen. Dear God, please resolve this soon...I now officially regret having voted for him.

F-You!

Didn't go to work today. Wasn't feeling too energetic and anyway, not much urgent stuff for me to do. A good way to recharge and recollect self before the start of holiday stress. Strange, but even the weekend cocooning didn't help much to invigorate me. Still feel very fatigued and listless.

It probably didn't help that my subordinate told me I was the reason she's resigning! It sucks to be accused of being an immature and disrespectful boss as it speaks more about you as a person than as a manager. While there was definitely a grain of truth to all the things she was saying, I thought a lot of it was unfair and reflective more of her own issues than mine. In any case, I really tried to be mature during that whole painful conversation and just focused on what both of us can learn from the experience. But deep inside, I really just wanted to shake her and tell her that she wouldn't have faced my wrath so many times if she just did her job better!

Also got majorly pissed by the fact that she didn't say anything to anyone until 1 day before she left. That's when she told not my boss, but the Marketing and HR directors! I didn't think it was very fair of her to do that especially to my boss, who is now probably seen negatively as not having managed the situation earlier. Bea gave a great analysis, saying because of her non-confrontational nature, she's crafted this situation as a means to express how she really feels without needing to say so. Well get with the program, girl!

Anyway, God has a wicked sense of humor, as I was coincidentally having dinner in the same resto as her farewell party with her office friends. That was majorly uncomfortable, so I just drank my beer and ignored her the best I could!

Just feel better that I'm not the only one who's experienced this "sabotage" drama with her. Plus I don't have to go to her despedida this afternoon and be all plastic, which I so can't stand to do.

Focusing on the positive, learn to be a better boss. Empower and inspire. Don't let sucky work piss me off too much. Don't be bitchy. Try not to gossip too much, talk gets around pretty quickly. Focus on people's good traits.

In the meantime--F U!

Whine Whine Whine

Still having major problems with one of my people. This is super stressing me out, as I'm not sure he can still improve significantly by his revalida this December. First time I've ever had this problem with a trainee. I keep worrying about this all the time, even while I was having my massage!

Meanwhile, still so tired all the time. Really just want to curl up in bed and sleep one whole day. It's probably the amount of energy I spend on each and every project I'm working on which depletes me completely by the middle of the day.

Can't wait for my Nov 30 Bantayan vacation!

Some Pics

More to come soon...

Is only for now! (Sex!)

Super dead tired at work given the hectic pace last week. Still haven't posted the Siem Reap pics, will hopefully do so tonight. Meanwhile, have to prepare for Business Reviews this Friday...ackkkkk...sometimes I'm so sick and tired of all the bureaucracy of corporate life.

Was listening to Avenue Q on my whole flight yesterday. Realized I have to shift my song from "It Sucks to be Me" to "For Now"

PRINCETON:
Why does everything have to be so hard?

GARY COLEMAN:
Maybe you'll never find your purpose.

CHRISTMAS EVE:
Lots of people don't.

PRINCETON:
But then- I don't know why I'm even alive!

KATE MONSTER:
Well, who does, really?
Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied.

BRIAN:
Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside.

GARY COLEMAN:
Take a breath,
Look around,

BRIAN:
Swallow your pride,

KATE MONSTER:
FOr now...

BRIAN, KATE, GARY, CHRISTMAS EVE:
For now...

NICKY:
Nothing lasts,

ROD:
Life goes on,

NICKY:
Full of surprises.

ROD:
You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes.

CHRISTMAS EVE:
You're going to have to make a few compromises...
For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER:
For now...

ALL:
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!

LUCY:
For now we're healthy.

BRIAN:
For now we're employed.

BAD IDEA BEARS:
For now we're happy...

KATE MONSTER:
If not overjoyed.

PRINCETON:
And we'll accept the things we cannot avoid, for now...

GARY COLEMAN:
For now...

TREKKIE MONSTER:
For now...

KATE MONSTER:
For now...

ALL:
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!

Only for now!
(For now there's life!)
Only for now!
(For now there's love!)
Only for now!
(For now there's work!)
For now there's happiness!
But only for now!
(For now discomfort!)
Only for now!
(For now there's friendship!)
Only for now (For now!)
Only for now!

Only for now! (Sex!)
Is only for now! (Your hair!)
Is only for now! (George Bush!)
Is only for now!

Don't stress,
Relax,
Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes,
Everything in life is only for now!

NICKY:
Each time you smile...

ALL:
...Only for now

KATE MONSTER:
It'll only last a while.

ALL:
...Only for now

PRINCETON:
Life may be scary...

ALL:
...Only for now
But it's only temporary

Ba-dum ba-dum
Ba-dum ba-dum
Ba dum ba-dum
Ba-da da da da
ba-da da-da da da-da
Ba-dum ba-da, ba-dum ba-da
ohhhh-

PRINCETON:
Everything in life is only for now.

"Tiger" Show

Just watched a Thai girl show in Patpong. I will never be the same again.

Freakin Let Go Already!

How can someone as rational as me not be able to fully let go of something that ended 3 years ago?

Off to BKK

Off to BKK tom! A bit nervous about the fact that my presentation is only half-done. Hope it goes well and makes the Philippines look super kickass (which is really my goal). Will really have to finalize it and rehearse to death tom!

Spent all of today in a brainstorming session in Alabang. Major brain drain even if I didn't even put in my usual effort. Was really tired and sleepy by noon. Gave a really inspiring senior management type speech in the end though, which I think people liked :) Problem was, they all said it wasn't like me to be inspiring...Shet. Really need to start transitioning from OC strict boss to nurturing inspiring boss. That's so not me!

Anyway, had dinner alone again. Mike had to cancel our dinner plans cause he had rescheduling patients, who are obviously more important than just going out with me. Can't say that made me feel very wanted but am quite used to being abandoned. Learning here is to really have more friends to hang out with, which means having to open myself up quite a bit more than I do now.

3 Things I'm Grateful for Today:

1. Successful brainstorming session
2. Fantastic Spanish lunch buffet
3. Charging the whole day costs (P52k) to my personal card. Tons of points!

Thanks

Things I'm Grateful for Today:

1. A good IC creative presentation, which means I actually have something I'll be proud to present in the Regional meeting on Thu.
2. Yummy gambas for lunch from Le Delice for only P150 (whowudhavthunkit?)
3. Dad's car available, which meant I didn't have to worry about my color coded car.

Life is good!

So F-in Want One!

Need to find a buyer for my macbook first though...

A few steps closer to a Half Marathon

Just realized that my "wall" comes in early, at around km 2-3. At this point, I feel gangly and heavy. Body is uncoordinated and starting to get really sore. Need to 1) pace at the start and 2) push self beyond 3K and I'll be fine. In fact, I get a great second wind that lasts all the way to 10K and beyond (just had to stop cause knee was complaining).

Realized this blog is getting to be all about running. Will force self to have other life.

Going to Bangkok on Wed for a meeting. Then off to Cambodia! Yipee! About to reach one of life goals!

Surreal Question of the Week

Sunday, 7:30 PM, Jollibee Drive-thru in Q Ave:

Me: Miss, Isang large Coke
Miss: Gusto niyo po ng rice?

Monday and Tuesday

Tiring past couple of days at work. Non-stop meetings from morning to late afternoon left me full of adrenaline (in a bad way). Still feel I'm being my usual sungit impatient self, probably because of the load of work that has to be done.

Spent most of yesterday working on performance evaluations for myself and my team. Got into a major hoolabaloo with boss as he decided to go ahead and align with the leadership team without waiting for our evals. In short, he made his own evaluation and didn't bother to consult us anymore! This kinda leaked out today so he's getting a lot of flak from the gods. Oh well, he really should start following the rules more. I've pretty much given up on him and am just taking advantage of the fact that he's such a nice, nurturing person who doesn't get in my way.

I am hoping for a high performance score so that I get a bigger salary increase next year and hopefully, a promotion by March. Really need the extra freakin money given my condo dues plus crazy spending lifestyle. I do feel I deserve it, given all the extra work load and the quality of work I produce.

Martin has promised to organize a spiritual retreat for me by end November! I really need to do that soon! Relationship with God has become almost non-existent except for unfocused Sunday masses. Really miss the strong emotions and passions I felt a few years ago when I was so active in retreats and spiritual readings. Must find group!

Cambodia won't happen anymore. We weren't able to get airline seats anymore. Super sucks! We might go around Thailand na lang. Would like to do something really different and non-touristy though.

So sick of eating out alone so often....

My 1st 10K

Achieved 1 of my goals for the year--run 10k by December

Survivor

Yey! Survived Bohol pretty much unscathed! Everything I expected to happen, did--screaming kids, non-stop running around, whining dad, etc. I guess being emotionally prepared really helped since I didn't get very affected by any of these. In fact, I empathized with them since they were all so stressed out!

Got a nice tan from the 1 sunny day. Yey! Was also able to sneak in a 2.5k run and another 5k run on the beach. Got a new PR despite having to dodge rocks and giant holes in half dark conditions.

Played poker every night. Ended up being the biggest loser at 700 bucks (down from initial loss of 1,300!) Shit! Apparently don't play that well even with all my complex strategies and aggressive play. Hmmm...seems everyone else is equally aggressive! Good way to bond with everyone though...

Still haven't bonded a lot with my Dad though, even if I had a lot of chances to. Really need to brush up on my Chinese soon!

After I got back last night, really needed to escape from the wholesomeness of a family outing so followed Mike and the gang in Coffee Bean GHills. Chatted for an hour before everyone wanted to leave! And it was only 10 PM! Now that sucked! Haaay...where do I find party friends???