Farewell

Had a great farewell dinner for McCann in Le Souffle tonight. I'll really miss them so much, especially Coco, CJ (who already left a few months ago), Agnes, Ronald, etc. But was most affected by Nandy, who I admire and respect a lot. I still remember the days as a Coke trainee when Nandy was my account manager. He was so brillant, suave, and confident, that I'd always feel so insecure about myself, even as a client. Even up to now, I hold him in such high regard (and admittedly, am still very much intimidated by him!)

Hay, how I miss working with McCann who I get along so much better than my current agency. Also miss how much more good looking they are than the people I have to work with now! hahaha

Anyway, the food was fabulous...so my diet is off to a rocky start. Didn't have too much carbs though (but a lot of red wine). Had sea bass, lamb chops, rib eye steak, a little risotto, and a breaded chicken thingie. Didn't have bread, creamy soup, or dessert. I guess that's a win already!

PS. Found out that Hans, one of the McCann people, read my blog. Ack! How embarrassing!

Here are some pics

I've no money left and it was just payday last week. This condo payments are killing me! Have to adjust my spending :(

In KL airport waiting for boarding. Really sleepy now, so I guess pharmaton doesn't really work. While this jetsetter life is great, ie. I got a limo service to airport, I can't wait to get back home. Really miss Sofy and feeling in control re: where I am.

The Philippines is so far from Malaysia in terms of economic development. This makes me feel so sad...but at the same time, I guess it's my responsibility as a Pinoy to somehow elevate our status in Asia Pacific.

Lessons Learned

Things I learned from this regional meeting:

1. Just like any brand, you have to ensure top of mind awareness and build your equity with the regional gods for both business and career advancement.

2. I'm not very comfortable having to be so extroverted--all the small talk and late night socials. But this is KEY to building relationships with these people.

3. Reality of regional work is lots of coordination. This hit home with all the group writing we had to do which I thoroughly detest. But have to find my inner patience and positive vibe in order to be able to work well with multiple markets and yet create a decent output.

4. I seem to have a strong desire to make friends with everyone else, which I guess is a good thing. It's so refreshing to be able to compare work and personal stories with people from very different backgrounds. I really like having international friends...and I'm suddenly a lot more interesting coz I can talk about so many things re: Philippines. I'm now bff's with people from Malaysia, (sorta) Thailand, Korea, China...I'm still a bit scared of the caucasians though, hehe. It's probably a imperialistic, low esteem, cultural thing.

5. I've been working on brands that no one in the region cares about--powder and cologne. The big stories are in lotion and wash, which I don't really know that much about. Need to take advantage of this opportunity while Juni's gone to get regional exposure.

6. I'm too negative and cynical and complain too much. Need to cultivate a more happy, positive attitude about life and work.

7. The world is soooo much bigger than my current existence.

8. I shouldn't be too hard on myself.

Lonely Planet

I'm seriously considering travelling to Siem Reap, Cambodia for my birthday...alone if necessary.

Dog Tired and Confused

Longest day of my working life. Started at 9am but technically awake since 7, since I was getting nervous about showing up alone, not knowing anyone. Had a very healthy breakfast with Alex around 8am but had to go to the meeting room alone. Thank God I immediately bumped into Tina, who kept me decently socially covered while all the strange foreigners were chatting around me.

God, hot house sessions are harsh--started strictly at 9 and didn't end til 8pm. There were very few breaks in between, and we'd have only around 5-10 mins to get the tasks done. However, the insighting requirements are not that hard; in fact, it's a piece of cake for me as I'm so used to churning them out all the time.

What was more difficult was the small talk that I had to do with these people. Started out with the socially inept Thais which I kinda wanted to get to know since I will work with them so much. They're not the brightest of the bunch. I also met the Malaysian team who are giving us so much pain right now in one of our projects. Met Caroline, my regional franchise manager for baby, which is now irrelevant since she's leaving in 2 weeks.

Really have to use this opportunity to be noticed by the right people--at the very least the Gods of Region--Phil and Elkie. Actually had dinner with Elkie but didn't get much interaction as he was quite masungit. I'm still intimidated by caucasian Phil so have tried to avoid him as much as possible.

In the meantime, had a drink with Tina an hour ago. She's still encouraging me to pursue either the Shanghai opening or a Regional position. She said that while it was tough especially on the work front, it was all made up by all the new experiences and her much broadened horizons and social network. This got me really excited...after all, what the hell am I hanging around in the Philippines for?

Question is, do I really want to work all that hard all over again?

Fear and Loathing in KL

Will be in KL this whole week for a regional brainstorming thing. A part of me is excited to be out of the country and doing something different. But a bigger part of me is nervous about being in such a high level meeting. I also don't know a lot of people and it takes so much effort for me to make small talk. Oh well, I guess I have to start getting comfortable with this as this will probably be my normal world in a few years.

My goals for the meeting:
1. Make sure everyone knows me, especially the Gods
2. Actively participate
3. Come up with brilliant ideas
4. Volunteer to present as much as possible
5. Take the lead! Be the star!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I will so need to come in confident, extroverted, full of pep and energy!!!!

At the very least, I think I can moderate which I seem to do quite well...

I wonder if I will have any time at all to go around the city...

Shit! Just realized I don't have any cash with me! Drats!

Mother Mother

My mom pisses me off. I rarely have interactions with her where I don't end up sulking or being an asshole. I think it's because:

1. She treats me like a child--just now I told her I was flying off to KL next week. she told me to make sure I ate fruits and veggies and limit my meat intake. She texts every night at around 10PM to ask where I am. 30 years old and I still can't take care of myself on anything--that's the message I take out all the time. I know this is common for a lot of people and I will just have to accept, if not embrace it. Also, should learn not to hinge my self-esteem on how others perceive me.

2. Forces me to commit on plans--now this is really petty and selfish but still...I hate how she always asks me what my plans are the next day. To be honest, I like to have some flexibility especially on weekends to do what I feel. This isn't possible when you're suddenly committed to drive her somewhere at 2 PM, or to have dinner in the other side of the city.

3. Can ask really silly questions--grrr can get so kulit at times. frustrating also how she can't get the hang of any gadget, including her phone.

4. Can say anything straight to my face--always has a complicated roundabout, parinig way of saying what she really thinks. This so goes against my own "let's get to the point" mentality.

Now I feel guilty for thinking of my mom this way...

out of commission

ugh...i feel sick...head hurts, fever, malaise...must have been the overtraining over the weekend.

Black and White

My personal insecurities:

1. Body issues--always been too skinny; now I'm too skinny with a belly and lovehandles
2. Face--hate my chinese eyes, small nose, big lips, bad skin
3. Lousy at anything athletic
4. Don't have a lot of friends. Nothing sadder than going straight home from work on a Friday
5. Zero lovelife.

Things I should rather focus on:

1. I'm smart
2. I'm not fugly
3. The chinito thing appeals to a small, albeit very specific segment
4. Financially independent
5. I can make people laugh
6. I can command attention in presentations
7. I'm good at what I do

Envy

I have a friend who seems to have everything:
1. Great career-doctor
2. Wonderful family relationship
3. Great, seemingly-perfect relationship
4. Athletic and "a great catch"
5. Popular with lots of friends

I know I should just count my blessings but fuck, I feel really jealous.

Anyway, I had a great videoke night with J&J folks. I SERIOUSLY got into it, obviously releasing a lot of angst by singing songs like "Plush" and "All Apologies." Had 5 beers but just a minor buzz--damn I'm getting immune to it!

It's a little sad how hungry I am for these type of escapist activities. Really shows how repressed I am. Lately, I've also had a strange obsession with house music and am craving to go to a club to get drunk (get high?) and DANCE!!!! Unfortunately, haven't found anyone who would go with me :(

Fuck I have to be a mass reader for a friend's wedding tom in 6 hours and haven't slept a wink!

Grrrrr

Got really pissed today with this HR assistant who forgot to tell me that my scheduled interview for project assistants were cancelled. Grrrr! Really hate inefficiency! Clearly another sign of my need for control, which to be honest, I don't think is all that bad. I just don't understand why people can't be considerate enough to do what they promise. How can people expect me to be all happy, happy, smiley when they can't even do their work well?

As life coach Myra would say, I'm too hard on myself and expect others to live up to unrealistic expectations. How can informing me of changes in sched be unrealistic? Isn't that just plain courtesy?

Tat Thoughts

Seriously thinking of getting a tat. I just hope it's not because I'm still trying to shed off my good chinese schoolboy image after more than 10 years. Worse, I may be dreading the big 3 0 !

Dunno what to get though. I find native or tribal scripts so cliche. Chinese characters are out of the question as I will seriously look too Yakuza.

One good thing though is that I'm not scared of the pain. Anyone who goes to the derma regularly will agree :)

I'm thinking of an inspiring latin word or phrase like "a posse ad esse" -- from possibility to actuality. Taray!

Ouchie

Strained my lower back doing power cleans yesterday at the gym...damn...so no yoga today. Back hurts so bad I can't even bend through the waist so I end up squatting just to pick something up from the floor. Still, was a very good boy and went running in UP at 7 AM today (!) despite the pain. Did pretty well. Ran for 20 mins straight with no break (1.5 laps), then ran another 15 mins and then another 10 (couldn't resist the kwek kwek na! heheh). Ended up doing almost 3 laps. Yey! Although I found out from ever reliable Francine that the oval is 2.2km and not 3.2kms. Damn. So I only did 6km+ in 50 mins! That sucks!

After which, I went to Fitness Ortigas to take a shower and killed time in Starbucks til I met my folks for lunch in Shang. Starbucks was wonderfully quiet and deserted, except for 1 group that seemed to be doing some kind of sharing. While reading my pseudo intellectual infinitely boring book, I sorta overheard their discussion which seemed very fascinating. What I could surmise was that they set specific life goals and would meet regularly to update and assess where they are in terms of achieving them. You start off talking about what you've accomplished this week and then the group would give their support by clarifying, affirming, or even questioning your actions. I loved the fact that they had everything written down/documented which made it all seem very clear and accountable. The facilitator seemed to really know what she was doing, asking really tough but helpful questions to help you process your thoughts.

I want to start something like this with my friends...or at the very least, join a support group like this. JC mentioned to us that he recently reviewed his 10 year plan which he made 10 years ago, and he realized he hasn't fulfilled any of his goals, except for getting married!

Will really start working on my 10 year plan seriously now. But I first need to figure out what my mission/vision is!

Fuck I want one

My condo will look like a Mac (or the office of Ugly Betty)

F Bombs

As part of life goal to have more of a social life, forced some friends out to dinner last night. Went to Haiku which I love...more for the ambience than the food actually. Unfortunately, Ranj and Harold had a movie to catch at 9 PM which I politely declined to join as it not my favorite genre--horror. So stuck around with bff in M Cafe (another one of those nice interiors, ok lang food places). Never realized it was such an expat hangout on Friday nights so felt really Indio especially since everyone was partying outside and we were in cool air-conditioned comfort (so Pinoy!). Had 2 yummy Cosmos (how girly can you get!) which, combined lethally with my dinner beer. So became my usual happy happy buzzed self, shouting more than talking, making okray (which I do even when sober haha), and wanting to hug everyone around. Needless to say, bff got stressed as hell--bwahahaha...

Also met this hardcore gym guy with awesome abs (don't ask how I know). Syempre I had to interview him for fitness and diet tips. He hasn't had fuckin carbs for 3 years--how fucking sad is that???!! So theoretically I know what it takes to get abs but I don't think I will make it alive emotionally. Food is comfort. Food is life! It's the reason God made cows! hahaha

Given my fuckin workload, I really fuckin deserve a promotion! Will push for one by March! Or else.....

Love this lovely weather. Wanna ruuuuuunnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emo State: Druggy from lack of sleep but Fidgety