New Blog

New blog for my new life:

pinoyinjakarta.blogspot.com

Counting Sheep

I'm back in Christchurch, coming from Queenstown. Gorgeous place but horribly peaceful and unexciting. It's true that there's more sheep than people. Will be flying off to Auckland tom. Hope it gets more interesting...!

I'm Off!

Leaving for Christchurch, New Zealand tomorrow night. Well technically, flying off to Sydney (9 hours), then another 3 hours to Christchurch. Quite cool, as I haven't been on a long haul flight for probably a decade now. Doesn't help though that I'm still recovering from the worst sore throat I've ever had. Just hope I'm much better by tomorrow! Good sign though is that my appetite is back, considering I've been living off low-fat milk for 2 days straight.

As usual, haven't packed shit as I still have all day tomorrow. Don't have any decent cold weather clothes so I'll probably look like my dad whose sweaters I will be wearing. Well, better frumpy that frostbitten!

Just so excited to escape the reality of my life and all it's accompanying problems and worries, if only for 2 weeks.

Not Bad

Not bad for a first race. Was No. 91 out of 499 who ran the 5k. That puts me in the top 18% :)

Crazy

Marketing Director just told me there's now a new option...I may be assigned to Thailand instead. Yehey!!! There's hope! I heart Thailand!

They will decide raw by end of the week. Meanwhile, I'm going crazy!!!!

Almost But Not Quite

Grrr...still haven't beaten the 30 min mark for 5k. Oh well, there's always next Sunday. I really should run a 10k again.



I promise to join a race by March!!!

Bully

In my performance evaluation with boss a few weeks back, I had a major light bulb moment. It seems that I can handle people very well when I see them as good workers but not as well when they don't live up to my high standards. Thus, how easy it is for me to manage certain subordinates but how others, including my agency and trade marketing people, can't stand me. I easily get impatient, frustrated, and start power tripping and instilling my "scare tactics."

Definitely stems from spoiled brattiness, always needing to get what I want when I want. And when I don't, well hell hath no fury like a manager pissed.

As boss says, it's 70% patience, patience, patience. And probably a change in priority from the quality of work to the person's development. That's really tough for me as good work is my non-negotiable...

Well it all starts with being mindful and conscious of it. Let's see how well I can control myself.

Rape Me

Right now, I look like I belong to a Stresstab ad...pale, gaunt, heavy eyebags, wild unkempt hair. Might be getting a fever too. So instead of going to the GMA party where everyone is, I've decided to stay home and watch Project Runway.

My social life goal for the year isn't exactly working out as planned...

On a Diet

I'm on a diet now, specifically a fiscal one. This stemmed from a hard realization yesterday that I was a shoppaholic, a careless splurger, and not very good saver. Of course had to go into laddering exercises to figure out the source of this addiction. Offhand, seem to stem from 2 sources-control issues and need for affirmation (why does everything seem to stem from these?).

So I've decided to cut down on spending. First task is to write down all my expenses so I see where my money really goes. So I'm super craving for a nice resto dinner now before going to the gym but just decided to eat at home before going to save up some cash. Sigh...but I'm super craving for ramen right now :(

On the topic of issues, a couple of us Marketing folk stayed after the session in Makati and talked about our issues. I seem to have quite a lot even beyond the 2 ones I already mentioned, such as making people feel small (which is how I respond to how I was also treated), my emotional wall, etc. Man, will really need to reflect on these more in the next few days.

Jeff just confirmed that they want to assign me to Jakarta. Oh shit...

Speed of Light

Man I missed running. First run of the year. Not as comfortable or easy as last year...that's the effect of 3 months with no runs. Anyway, promise to do this more regularly from now on and actually join a race by March.

You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol

I was just listlessly going through the whole Snow Patrol album while driving to the office but this song stopped me in my tracks.

I Want Pity

Home alone on a Friday night. No invites. Come to think of it, no plans tom either.

Will be eating sardines for dinner. Alone.

Where to Go

Working from home today. It's because of a new J&J work-life balance program called "FlexPlace", which basically means we're allowed to telecommute once a week. In fairness to the company, despite all the crapola we go through, they do come up with really useful programs like this. The other wonderful one is our summer compressed work week where you can work an additional hour Mon-Thu and get half day off on Friday. This is so you could spend more time with your kids when they're on summer vaca. Syempre, us singles just end up going to the mall earlier. haha.

This out of country assignment seems to be a sure ball thing. Now, it's really just a question of where. Based on my sleuthing around, it's a choice between Shanghai and Vietnam. Shanghai's definitely the more cosmopolitan option; however, those guys work their balls off! Plus they're eternally presenting to the worldwide gods. Some people get off on that, but I'm so over the whole work self to death to increase self-esteem mode.

I'm finding Vietnam more and more interesting the more I research about it. Lynette says it's like Manila 5 years ago. Plus the work there will be a lot more pioneering and entrepreneurial, which sounds really interesting. Plus I get to eat all the pho I want!!!

Actually I'm not sure I even get a choice on the matter. I think they will be the ones to make the decision. So I'm praying it's not Shanghai.

Disjointed Me

I'm taking a much deserved, long awaited leave today. The week just left me so drained, more emotionally than anything. I'm sorry to say I haven't really progressed much on my WIGs except maybe for the social life part. Still need to go to mass and pray every day. Also need to chat with family more (ugh!). Why is this harder than it appears?

Career is doing pretty well; just really need to improve my sungit levels. New trainee coming in on Monday, I think I'm traumatized. Still no word on the reassignment although the Marketing Director sent out an email to our bosses for nominations to the exchange program. I hope this is just a formality and not an actual screening process, which means I may not get chosen!

Also starting to think of extending out beyond myself and trying to be a better global citizen. Will try to find a pet cause. Maybe will be more active in WWF and PAWS?

I also really still want to learn to swim though...

This is a disjointed, incoherent entry that needs major editing.

Guilt

I had to fire someone today. That was the hardest thing I had to do in my career. A lot of the pain is guilt and self doubt. Was it my fault? What could I have done better? Did I give him the wrong impression? The other side is wondering whether you've ruined someone's life forever--and you wouldn't even wish that for your worst enemy.

Maybe I shouldn't even have regularized him? Maybe I should have just told him early on that there's a very small chance that he would make it?

All I can do now is pray and help him get back on his feet. But who will do the same for me?

Oh Shit

Oh Shit! What about Sofy?

Goodbye?

There's an extremely huge chance that I will be assigned to another country within the year. Most likely it will be somewhere in ASEAN. I'm praying that it's anywhere but Jakarta! Bangkok, KL or Singapore would be great. Either that or Shanghai which is a perfect fit for me except for the work stress there.

It's fascinating how things fall into place. I was seriously planning to push for a foreign assignment this year and it's becoming a reality. Combination of mindfulness + initiative + luck.

I'm really very excited about this; realistically, not leaving a lot behind anyway so this can only be for the best. Plus, I get to live on my own for a while which is fantastic. Hopefully, there's a big bump in salary as well so I can actually afford my condo amortizations.

Fuck I'm an expat!

Waiting in Vain

Haay...still waiting for a call from my agency for a messed up shoot that will happen tomorrow. I got really Hulk like again because of this; that's definitely not gonna win me nicest client of the year. But to be honest, I really don't care anymore. That's really who I am especially when people don't do their jobs really well. No problem if it were unexpected situations but lack of basic project management skills is so unacceptable.

Sigh...I really want to be the nice guy, but not at the expense of getting great and efficient work done.

Wild On

Wild night! Drank a lot, danced a lot, did unmentionables a bit, hehe. Went home at 5am. A bit too old to just be starting to party and honestly, can't afford these ridiculous P100 beer places, but damn, it's such a great escape!